Often when we think of grief, we think of the loss of a loved one, a friend or family member. Those of us unlucky enough to experience miscarriage also experience the loss of a loved one we never got to meet. Those of us who experience stillbirth experience the loss of a baby that neverContinue reading “ACT, Grief and Pregnancy Loss”
Monthly Archives: July 2020
Workability
Another important ACT concept is doing what works rather than either repeating unhelpful patterns that have short term payoffs but long term downsides in terms of what you value, or pushing yourself so hard to do what you want to achieve that you end up adding excessive stress and exhaustion to your suffering. So afterContinue reading “Workability”
My second pregnancy (aka baby rainbow)
Another key skill from ACT I had to use to get as far as my second pregnancy was psychological flexibility – the idea that you need to flexibly use the right skill at the right time and bring your knowledge in when you need it. So I needed mindfulness, defusion, clarity on my values, aContinue reading “My second pregnancy (aka baby rainbow)”
Committed action
Possibly the most important part of ACT. Once you know what you care about and you have the tools to cope with climbing your own mountain to reach it, you set some goals to get you there – following the mountain analogy, like a series of camping posts on the way to reach. After myContinue reading “Committed action”
Values
Values are one of my favourite aspects of the ACT model and one that distinguishes it from other forms of CBT. When we say values it’s too easy to think in terms of what we should want for ourselves and other people’s expectations of us. It’s also too easy to stop at the basics. theContinue reading “Values”
Drop the struggle
Another key idea from ACT is that part of what distinguishes humans from other animals is language. Language allows us to have an internal dialogue about our experiences. When children learn to talk, they develop associations between words and objects. For example, they learn the word for cow. They instinctively then want to categorise theirContinue reading “Drop the struggle”
Self-as-context
One of the important ideas from ACT is that you are the context for your experiences rather than just your thoughts and feelings – you last your whole lifetime while your thoughts and feelings just pass by. What’s happening in your life now is one chapter of it. Not all chapters will be enjoyable, butContinue reading “Self-as-context”
Mindfulness
My mindfulness practice predates my experience of miscarriage but it’s a good wellbeing antidote for feeling numb, shocked and blocked which was how I felt after my first miscarriage. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment. It can mean meditating, but it could also mean mindful movement like yoga or pilates,Continue reading “Mindfulness”
Defusion
Here’s some ideas I had to defuse from after my first miscarriage ‘An early miscarriage is less of a big deal as the physical part is over quickly‘ WRONG – there’s a loss of hopes and dreams, shattered beliefs about pregnancy necessarily ending in live birth, other people’s emotional responses, real or imagined and the worldContinue reading “Defusion”
My first pregnancy (aka baby Kauai)
My first pregnancy began a few weeks after my wedding on honeymoon in Kauai. A few miles from the quirky town of Honalea in the land of dramatic green clifftops, beautiful white sandy beaches and tourquoise crashing waves. Our host had left a lucky penny under our bed and when I lost it on the beachContinue reading “My first pregnancy (aka baby Kauai)”
MiscarriageACT 